Everything wrong with the question: “Are you on your period?” and why to avoid saying it.

The question every girl hates. There’s just something about this question that puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the day and that’s exactly what we’ll be exploring today.

Why is it so offensive?

For example, let’s say a young woman who had just gotten into an argument with her parents goes to attend her evening classes with the make up from last nights dinner still on, mascara running, lipstick smudged and one fake lash hanging on to her eyelid with all it’s got while the other is probably stuck to one of the tissues in the bottom of her bag.

She runs into the elevator as she tries to fix her shirt and look somewhat presentable before having to deal with her classes. But, no matter how much she tries, she cannot hide the mess she’s become due to the fight she had with her parents last night.

Her fellow students give her strange looks and some professors even click their tongues at the young lady running through the halls with mismatched shoes.

Once she walks into her class everyone’s eyes start judging every part of her, how she’s dressed, her make up, how she presents herself, all of it. She hears them whispering, gossiping. Desperately in need of some kind of comfort she sits down next to her desk mate who, without giving it any thought asks her,

“Hey, are you on your period or something?”

Dumb-stuck, she stares at him with the most incredulous look on her face.

The anger she had felt towards her parents last night, then the guilt that had rolled in a couple hours later, and her pathetic state as she mulled over all the rude insults she had thrown at her parents, to the eyes of an outsider it didn’t matter.

All they saw was a young woman who probably cried due to mood-swings and cramps, forgot to wipe off her make up and had slept in.

Still in disbelief, she turns to her desk mate and remarks rather sarcastically,

“Just what I needed today.”

Her desk mate turns back to his notes as he mutters, “Mood-swings”.

She tears her gaze away from him and towards the professor that had just walked in, chest stuffy and mind foggy due to the anger she felt towards her desk mate.

____________________________________________

No matter whatever the context may be, no matter whatever your intentions may be, I believe there is no way to take the question positively. The question itself gives off an arrogant tone that stems from pure ignorance. It makes a woman feel like the only time she’s allowed to show that she’s upset is when she’s on her period.

Now, that may not be the case however, most women are likely to take it that way.

Whether a lady is on her period or not, the sentence retains its level of offensiveness. It makes a woman feel like all her problems big or small, can be described by one thing, her period.

It insinuates that a lady is not allowed to be upset or mad or in pain unless she’s on her period. All the emotions she feels, everything she goes through is summarized in two words, her period.

So, what should one do?

Look past your assumptions and if you are genuinely concerned for a friend, sister, mother or even just an aquaintance in pain, instead of asking her,

“Are you on your period?”,

ask her,

“Are you ok?”

See? the whole energy that is created by that one question completely changes. The second question gives off a more genuine feeling and is comforting.

All one needs to do is be aware of his or her choice of words and everything can change. We will be talking more about the power of words and how to convey exactly what you’re feeling in the best way possible.

Thanks for reading and make sure to comeback next week!